Sylvia’s Journey….

You guys!!! Can I tell you about how amazing Sylvia is?! Remember her road to learning how to swim and self discovery? If not take a few minutes to go back and read her story in one of my earlier blog posts. She had set a lofty goal of completing an Ironman distance triathlon, which is an astounding 2.4 mile swim, followed immediately by a 112 bike ride and then for good measure you finish with a 26.2 mile run!

Did she do it? Let’s find out from Sylvia’s own words and photos from the event…..

The swim : It’s dark and early on race day. The heat and humidity is hanging heavy in the air as we board busses to shuttle us to the swim start. It’s a sea of athletes lining up according to their predicted swim times on the narrow Riverwalk that snakes along the Tennessee river. It is still dark. Many people sit in the grass, some are engaged in conversation and others seem to meditate or sleep. We are walled in by shrubbery and trees unable to glance at the water. At 7am the line begins to slowly shuffle forward. I have selected a spot to the side near the front. I stretched and ran a bit to warm up before squeezing myself into my hand me down wetsuit from Randy. My calves have gotten bigger from all this training and the already torn ankles rip just a bit more to my calves. Converting the legs to stylish bell bottoms. I sigh. I hear a giggle behind me and a young woman whispering to a man next to her gazing in the directing of my legs. It truly is funny. It seems everyone here had on very new expensive gear of the latest big brand name. I shrug the thought and feel blessed to have friends who have helped me with their time and resources. I wouldn’t stand here without them. The wetsuit group is the last to enter the water due to the water temp restriction on making it wetsuit legal. I had a choice to make. It was is a warm day and wearing the suit meant I forgo the ability to place and go to Kona. The thought made me smile. I was here to finish upright and earn the medal, so I opted for the wetsuit and take the disadvantage of starting last. The metal ramp towards the river lay before me and I readied myself with my pink Roka cap and my swim mask. Due to my face shape the goggles leaking has been my biggest concern and frustrating struggle. I hoped I had placed them right with no hair or cap in the way to break the seal. I stepped to the edge of the platform pressed start on my watch and dove in. The river is wide and large buoys and volunteers in kayaks are giving us direction. My heart rate spiked from the adrenaline as I map out my position to other swimmers and the best place to stay out of kick range. Once I find a safe spot I flip on my back for a few strokes, calm my breathing and collect my mental focus. Swim my own pace! High elbows! You have big hands..use them to pull! Feel the strength in your lats! Pull! Breathe! Rotate! Hips…it’s all in the hips! I am surprised at the visibility in the water. It’s not as dirty as I thought. Kudos Tennessee. Oh, I need to sight more, I’m pulling too hard on my left side and almost bumped into a kayak. I lift my head and smile at the volunteer. Whoops. I keep going trying to stay out of the way of other swimmers veering into my path. I’m noticing others struggling some using breast or back stroke and others holding onto the kayaks for a quick break. I am finally finding flow. The moment when everything comes together. Body, mind and movement. I pull, I rotate, I breathe and sight. It’s fluid. I’m passing people and I’m cruising towards the half way mark of the old Barges ankered at the bank. I’m getting close to the bridges. There are 3 I have to swim under before looking for the exit buoy on my left. I notice a set of legs to my left near the first bridge. They’re slightly ahead of me towards to top of my left eye. I try to sight but see no one above the water. The field has to bottle neck to swim between the bridge pillars in the water. I pass another big group as I have to head more to the right, the shadow of legs remaining in my left field of vision. I am feeling comforted by whoever seems to be there basically pulling and leading me. My body feels strong and in sync. My goggles leak a bit and I decide to pull up next to a kayak to drain the water and push them tighter for a better seal. A man clings to the kayak in pain over leg cramps. I wish him the best and move on. I notice the leg shadow remained in the same spot. How is this possible? But I follow and accelerate. I pass more bodies and spot the last bridge and the exit buoy to the left. What, so soon? I have plenty of energy left. Then I smile as volunteers are on the stairs reaching for my arm as they shout congratulations and great job. Pulling out of the water brings all the gravity back and coming off the horizontal state to bring vertical is a quick adjustment, then your body reminds to to move! Quickly! I trot. I smile! Did y’all see that?!? I just swam! No really, I swam this! And it was glorious! I can’t stop smiling as I run under the swim finish. I stop my watch, remember to pull my wetsuit quickly to my waist and am greeted by photographers. Oh I’m smiling like the moon and realize I’m still wearing goggles and cap. Doofus. Haha..those pics will be my forever reminder how I clearly was celebrating in my head. I spot my friends Susan and Randy overhead on a bridge. I give them the thumbs up and shoot out “I did it, did y’all see me, I did it “. What a rush that was!

(I forgot about the shadow of legs for the rest of the race. It was several days later that I remembered and was still puzzled as to what I had seen. I can’t explain it yet it brought comfort. I had also seen a shadow at the Bernau pool during practice a few times at the wall close to the turn around in the shallow water. I had thought it was the pool ladder but it wasn’t.)

The lasting effect :
Peace, self love, acceptance, forgiveness and appreciation. Not from finishing the Ironman event, but for sticking it out. The many times I wanted to quit and give up. I had actually suffered a bulging disc 3 weeks before the race on a morning of track without after a simple stretch. It was 2 days after a back to back long swim – 2 miles – at Lake Lanier. My training basically got halted and my doctor only allowed non weight bearing workouts to give my back a chance to recover if I wanted a chance to enter the race at all. I was asked if I was self sabotaging to get out of it. I truly wasn’t and I thought the idea alone was absurd. My step dad in Germany passed away unexpectedly a few days later and I scrambled to get a flight home to be with my Mom during funeral preparations. It gave me time to focus on my family and time to grieve and heal. I came back stronger and with the resolve that I wasn’t going to be breaking any records. I just wanted to do it and enjoy myself without hurting my body more. And I loved the whole experience

In the end I have gained more then a medal or the Ironman title. I no longer long for other people to validate me as a person, or a woman. I now love myself in a way no one else has been able to, yet I’d spent so many years of my life finding in a man. It has changed my relationship with others and my marriage. Boy could I dive into that subject here. Really…I honestly not seeking the approval on my outer appearance from the opposite Sex. I’ve become more secure in who I am and I’m not dependant on an outer source to fulfill things only I can be consistent with. I’m happy to be me and I can love others the way I now love myself. Without reserve and unconditional!!!