This is Janice….

I first sat down to talk with Janice, well, because she is simply an amazing woman. She is a mother of 7, grandmother to 3, wife to Paul (her biggest cheerleader and her solid rock), artist, photographer, cancer survivor, witty as all get out…. the list goes on an on. She has 6 daughters and one son, 3 of her daughters and her son were adopted by Janice and Paul after they had been their foster parents. The road to adoption was not always a smooth one. Along the way there have been many tears, court dates, heartbreak and according to Janice, a few stress pounds gained. But greatly outnumbering the tears and pounds are smiles, laughter, love, hugs, adoption finalizations and being a family.

When a lot of people are in their late forties and their children are grown they start to think about retirement, vacations, grandchildren. Janice and Paul were 47 years old when they began fostering children, so many “what if’s” for them to consider, what if we’re too old, what if having to say goodbye to a foster child is too difficult, what if we can’t help them… They could be vacationing on a beach, relaxing, cocktails with umbrellas in hand, but instead they opened their hearts to some of the sweetest children I know. (I was lucky enough to be Mimi and Freddie’s preschool teacher when they were two years old) I can’t believe it, but Freddie is going to middle school next year! Freddie is a kind, loving, sensitive boy whose birth mother is homeless and was unable to care for him. Sweet Freddie suggested to Janice they find her in Atlanta so the family could adopt her as well.

“She doesn’t have a home and so he had this plan that he was going to try and find her in Atlanta, he made whole bunch of posters and the posters were like “Looking for ‘K””. He had drawn like an oval and shaded it brown because he didn’t know what to look for but he knew she has brown skin. Then it’s like, “we don’t know what she looks like but we know she’s very nice”. He wanted to go downtown with these posters. It breaks my heart because, you know,  he’s just like, he so so sensitive.”

Oh, I haven’t mentioned yet… the younger four adopted children are black and just because of that simple fact the “what if’s” Janice has to think about are terrifying.

What if my child gets pulled over by a police officer?

What if my child is mistaken for a crime suspect?

What if my child speaks their mind?

“When Paul and I became foster parents we were suddenly made aware of a lot of prejudice and inequality in our own city. We were forced out of our suburban, white bubble. We were never racist but we were never anti-racist. This is a subtle but crucial distinction. We are now the proud parents of four Black children. I have done a lot of work to educate myself and to listen to black people. I want a good, equitable life for all my children, not just my biological daughters.

I don’t want to use my children as a badge of my woke-ness and I am very careful not to pull the white savior card. However, over the years, on social media and in person, I have challenged those people who laugh at the videos and quotes from my children to extend that appreciation to people like George Floyd, some other momma’s cherished son. As long as white people see black people as other and lesser, then they can easily deny their worth and humanity.

We can never appreciate the terrible experiences that our black friends and colleagues have to deal with every day.
I am an immigrant… but one of the cute ones with a British accent! I have been stopped for speeding and driving over yellow lines but have never gotten a ticket .., in fact, one time when I inadvertently cut off a police car () the policeman pulled me over and we ended up having a nice conversation about his ancestors from the old country!!
I know this is not going to be the same for my 11 year old son …. I lose sleep over the day when my white privilege can no longer shield him. The inequality in the world is evident, but for me, and hopefully for all those people who have met and loved my babies and listened to me talk about what might have been their reality if the ‘nice white lady’ hadn’t adopted them, I hope that change will come. Black lives matter.”