Pandemic…check, not currently working at my full time job….check, broken ankle…check, blood clot for good measure…check, all the time in the world to write my blog and share the journeys of inspirational women…check!
Right now I am working on Marci’s story for Hold the Goat. Marci is in her 50’s and last year she had an opportunity to make a pretty big choice in her career path and life. For many years she had very successfully climbed the corporate ladder but was feeling more and more that her career was not leading her to an authentic representation of herself. Should she stay on her current path or go in a very different direction? What would you do if there was a moment in your “grown up” life to change your direction and start something completely new? I’m excited to tell you next week how Marci was able to Hold the Goat!
During our conversation Marci talked about not really knowing what she wanted to do after high school, all she knew at the time was that she hated high school and wanted to be done with it. This got me thinking about how much pressure we put on kids to know what they want to be when they grow up. Not to mention all of the other pressure 21st century kids are facing. In middle school, most children are told to choose an educational track that will eventually lead them to a career… at 11. years. old. To me, this sets up the belief that you make a choice and that’s all there is, adults have a job and if you don’t know then there is something wrong with you. Hold the Goat? Take chances when your a grown up? Ha! Who would do such a thing?!
The thought train got a rolling down the track….. do kids even know who they are at such a young age to even know what they want to be when they grow up? What does “be” even mean to a child or for that matter what does “grown up” mean? When is the age when you become a grown up? I mean seriously, is there a 14 year old out there who dreams of becoming an accountant? Dear diary, someday I’ll sit behind a desk all day, following orders from 3 different managers, and hopefully on some weekends too!
Think about the privilege some kids have to even consider what they want to “be” when they grow up. When my daughter, Eliza, was in the 5th grade, she was friends with a boy who, with his teenage brother, was in the foster system. We were at his foster family’s house for his birthday party and it was time to blow out the candles on his birthday cake. His older brother told him to make a wish which confused Eliza’s friend, he had never been told to do that before. He asked his brother, “What can I wish for?” to which his brother replied…”anything you want”. I can still hear his voice and picture him, it was filled with pure childlike surprise and hope “Anything??”, as he looked up, eyes opened wide, to his big brother. Yup, anything your amazing wonderful self wants. Do you think this sweet 11 year old boy had his career path in mind when he made that wish?
Think about careers and jobs that exist now that could never have been imagined when you were in middle school. Now going forward and the way the world is today, who knows what kind of jobs will be available to choose 20 years from now. And we want an 11 year old to know?!
So what does any good pretend medical doctor (PMD for those that don’t personally know me) do? I ask my friends on Facebook to ask kids they know to answer a few questions. What do you want to be when you grow up? What does it mean to “be”? At what age do you become a grown up?
From the very wise words of children….
Julia (7) – A singing scientist, “to be means you practice a lot, so when you grow up you just be…yeah that”
Fletcher (8) – a chicken nugget
Riley (13) – an athletic trainer
Emerson (10) – a hotdog mascot
Ava (12) – a teacher, “To be is to be who you are and you always follow that.”
Ansley (10)- a pediatrician, When asked the “to be” question she raised one eyebrow and said “huh? I don’t know, but I do know I’m hungry so imma make a sandwich” and skipped off to the kitchen
Jayse (6)- has been set on being a combined Paleontologist/Marine Biologist when he grows up. He said the combo would allow him to study Pre-historic Sharks.
Keller (9) – myself
Otis (5) – I want to be ‘red titan’ (that is from Ryan’s world). To ‘be’ means to be a superhero. He wants to be one of Ryan’s characters.
Nolan (10) – a writer/author, “To be”: means who you are or will become
Maleah (17) – wants to work for the FBI after she gets her Bachelors in Communications and Criminal Justice from UTC and finishes her obligation to the USMC. Second question: eye roll
Elliot (4.5) -I want to be a construction worker man. And a daddy
Lincoln (3) – a superhero. To be; means to listen to Mommy and be kind!
Emily (16)- says in a world where she can be anything, she wants to support herself by living (creating shelter, seeking food, etc) – basically she wants to be a vagabond. To “be” means to be present and experience things and to analyze them and see how you feel about those things. She doesn’t really want her job to be her life / her identity but knows she’ll need a job to live. And she wants to travel and not settle down until she’s very old.
Natalie (14) – wants to be a lawyer and grad from Georgetown law
The answers to “at what age are you a grown up” vary greatly depending on who you’re asking… Ava who is 3, answered that you’re a grown up when you’re 2. I know Ava and she is pretty grown up for her three year old self! Tweenagers and young teenagers mostly answered 18 and 21. The majority of my friends who are older than 40 answered…Never!
YES!!! To all of these things! When we attempt to pigeon hole children into believing they can only be one thing, it starts to diminish their dreams and hopes. Let them explore, make mistakes, have adventures, and make a wish for anything they want!
Hold the Goat 