If gold medals were awarded for procrastination and self doubt I would be the Michael Phelps of life. In 2016 I bought the domain name of Hold the Goat with the expectation of doing exactly what it is I’m doing right now, sharing stories of inspiring women. Easy peasy, right? Only easy peasy if you don’t let those internal voices of self doubt talk over the teeny tiny voice of “You can do this!” I let all my “what if’s” drown out the strong Samantha. I told myself no one is going to want to read about you or other women. They’re going to be sweet, tell you it’s a good idea and then never give Hold the Goat a second thought. I let the domain expire. Occasionally I would talk abut Hold the Goat, how I wanted to grow it into something. But that stupid loud hater voice would remind me that no one would really want to be a part of it.
All of a sudden the summer of 2019 came along and I found myself without a full-time job and wondering how I was going to pay my bills. By chance, luck or quirk of fate, I saw something my friend Sylvia posted on facebook. Sylvia is someone I knew through the trail running community and we’d see each other at races. Lately it seemed to me that Facebook has become a platform of negativity, but on this particularly dreary morning I saw her post on Facebook; even reading it now, it fills me with a feeling of hope and excitement. Her post you ask, was simply this,
“I SWIM!!!! Huge thank you to Joy Lohr Kelleher for combining the psychology behind my anxiety and help me fulfill a lifelong dream. If ANYONE struggles with swimming in any way I recommend hiring Joy with Swim Gainesville. If I can do it so can you.”
Yes I thought, way to Hold the Goat! I knew I needed to connect with her and hear her story!
I am not kidding when I tell you that it took me a full week to contact Sylvia, as my internal struggle continued. What if she thinks I’m nuts? What if she thinks the Hold the Goat project is stupid… but what if she wanted to share her story? What if she thought it was a great idea? During that week I must have mentally written out that message to Sylvia a dozen times until I finally sent it. I was so nervous when I finally hit send. My fears were quickly laid to rest when she messaged me back and was excited and eager to share her story!! Why did I wait so long?
A month later and I now have talked to eight different women from around the country, with plans to talk to many more.
My, it seems to me, monumental task is to now turn these recorded conversations into a written piece in order to share them with you. I am still a little terrified of not doing justice to these women who have taken the time from their busy lives to sit down with me and share their incredible stories of transformation. That little voice of doubt inside my head now wants to reassert itself – you can’t do this, you aren’t a writer, people are just being nice. So I sit at my computer and instead of writing about Sylvia, I read a runner’s manual for a race I’m not running, clean my kitchen and catch up on Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger’s weekend with Rob Lowe. To be honest, the race director of this particular race is a wonderful writer and an incredible human being, my kitchen really needed cleaning and who doesn’t want to read about Chris, Katherine and Rob, all very important things right?
Ugh, I’m still doing it! I’m procrastinating by telling you about my procrastinating. I need to Hold the Goat! What if something wonderful happens when I do this? What if I have the opportunity to inspire just one person? So here is goes… Hold the Goat! But first I’m going to go cry tears of doubt in my shower and then maybe fold the laundry that has been piling up, while I work on my, big girl I can do this voice.
Hold the Goat 